Cocklust Ch. 15

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When finals week rolled around, everything around us ground to a halt. There were no parties on the Row, no meetings for any student groups, and of course no regular classes. But at that point, finals were the least of my concerns. All I could think of was the winter break to come.

I kept pulling up my e-mail, where Chad had sent our flight confirmation. It felt so official to see our full names together in all caps: CHAD MATTHEW COLLINS and SCOTT BRADLEY HARRINGTON. It was another sign that our relationship was getting very real.

I kept debating what I’d say to Chad’s family. I was sure they’d been talking about me, and I could only imagine what they might be saying. I was especially worried about his mom; for all I knew, she could bring up the fact that I was butt-fucking her kid.

I also worried about practical things. If we’d be around his family, would we even get to have sex? Or would we spend the whole time resisting our urges? If need be, I thought, we could always sneak away for a quickie. But I didn’t like that idea, because it reminded me of when we were in the closet.

The flight out was basically a blur. I vaguely remember going through security— this time without any sex toys— and boarding the plane.

I do remember taking in the view as we came in for landing. At first I couldn’t see much, but then the wilderness gave way to suburbs. My heart started pounding when I saw the ocean and realized how close we really were. The next thing I knew, we were flying right past the downtown buildings. The plane almost seemed like it might land on a roadway, or even in the water. But then the airport appeared out of nowhere, and we thundered to a stop.

As soon as we turned our phones back on, Chad’s phone buzzed with a message. “Okay,” he said, “there’s supposed to be a driver waiting in the terminal.”

“Say what?”

“Yeah,” he said. “We should see him as soon as we leave security.”

I snorted. “I’ve never had a driver before.”

“Dude,” he said, “it’s a glorified taxi service. I guarantee it’s cause my mom didn’t want to be bothered.”

“If you say so,” I said as I undid my seatbelt.

Sure enough, once we got off the plane and walked through the concourse, we found the driver waiting for us. He looked exactly the way I’d imagined: he wore a dark blue suit and hat, and he held a sign that said Chad Collins and co.

“So I guess I’m ‘and co’?” I asked.

“That’s one way to put it,” Chad said, “except you’re my co.” And he waved to the driver.

As we left the airport, I took in the sights and sounds around us. The place did seem like an escape from reality. We drove past hundreds of sailboats; the palm trees were swaying in the breeze, and the sun was glittering on the water. We crossed over a bunch of coves and inlets, then headed into the hills.

Chad’s house was a Spanish Mission-looking place. The front door was extra heavy, in the shape of an arch, and it led to a nice foyer. From there, I could see all the way through to the patio out back. Everything around us was pretty much spotless.

I saw a female form in the distance. She was crouched over a table, apparently poring over papers. She reached up to wave, and I saw she had a martini in her hand. “Hi boys,” she said.

Chad and I walked up to her. “Hey Mom,” he said.

She gave Chad a big kiss, but then she flinched. “Yikes!” she said. “What’s with this beard?”

“Come on Mom—”

“Scott,” she said, “what do you think of it?”

“Well, uh… I-I dunno…”

“I mean, you’ve got to kiss this more than I do. So I guess if you don’t mind—”


“What— are you saying it’s not true?” She sipped her martini, then set down the glass. “I’m sorry, we haven’t been properly introduced. Not that we really need to be. I’m Linda.”

I just shook her hand. “Nice to meet you,” I said. Chad’s mom was basically a MILF, or at least that’s how most frat guys would see her. Her eyes were almost identical to Chad’s. She must’ve been approaching fifty, but she didn’t look it at all. Her dress seemed designed to show off her cleavage. Her lipstick was bright red, and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

“Sorry about the mess,” she said as she pointed to her papers. “I was just meeting with my decorator. We want to redo the kitchen.”

Chad rolled his eyes. “Again?”

“Anyway, I’ve got both of your rooms set up. Here, follow me—”

“Both of our rooms?” Chad asked.

“Yes,” she said as she headed for the stairs. “I figured Scott could sleep in the guest room.”

“He’s fine in my room.”

“Well, you wouldn’t have much space—”

“We’ve slept together before,” he said, “in closer quarters than this.”

I was too embarrassed to say anything. I’d tried so hard to give a good first impression, so I didn’t want to talk about this stuff in front of her. But she didn’t give me a choice.

“What do you think, Scott?” she asked. “Where would you rather sleep?”

“I, uh—” I stammered for a second, then forced out the words: “I’m amsterdam shemale fine with whatever.”

“See?” Chad said. “I told you. We’ll figure it out.”

“All right,” she finally said, “suit yourselves. Just let me know what you need—”

“Yeah okay Mom,” Chad said as he waved her away.

Finally Chad opened the door to his bedroom, and he motioned me to come in. At first glance, his room looked like someplace a meathead might live: he had a shelf full of trophies— apparently for his basketball prowess— and his walls were lined with athletic posters. But once I looked more closely, I noticed that a lot of the posters were of swimming competitions, where the boys were all in speedos. Other pictures just showed big well-toned men, some more scantily clad than others. Chad being Chad, his room was also pretty messy, and I saw copies of Men’s Health lying around. I was kind of surprised that no one had picked up on his tendencies before— at least as far as I could tell.

“Check this out,” he said as he pointed out the window.

I saw the patio beneath us, complete with a pool and jacuzzi. In the distance, I could see the ocean on one side and rolling hills on the other. “Holy shit,” I said. “That’s a helluva view.”

He checked to make sure his mom was safely out of earshot. Then he pointed toward me. “I always liked this view way better.”

“Oh for crying out loud—”

“Look behind you,” he said.

I turned and saw one of his posters above me. It showed a bunch of Olympic divers, and it didn’t leave much to the imagination. Their bulges were so well-defined that I could totally make out what was under that fabric.

“You know how much I used to jack off in here?”

I surveyed all the man flesh around me. I had to admit that it got my blood pumping.

“You probably don’t want to use a blacklight in here,” he said. “I guarantee you’d find cum in places you never expected. I mean, you know how far I shoot…”

I couldn’t help feeling turned on at the thought. “Yeah I do,” I finally said. “Are you telling me we’re gonna spend our whole vacation in your cum-coated room?”

“Well,” he said, “I was hoping we could add some fresh cum of our own.”

“Dude, your mom’s right outside—”

“I told you, I’m done hiding this shit.” He pointed out the window. “In fact, I should show you the nude beach too.”

“Say what?”

“You can’t see it from here. It’s at the bottom of the cliffs. But it’s not far… and it’s totally worth the trip.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said.

“I used to go there all the time. Or at least to an overlook. Imagine what that was like for a fourteen-year-old kid.”


“That’s how old I was when we moved here. Which was perfect fucking timing.”

I nodded. I clearly remembered being that age myself, and I’d been pretty horny too. I could only imagine what I would’ve done if I’d had all this at my fingertips. Even now, as an adult, it sounded really fucking sexy. “Wow,” was all I could say. “This is gonna be one helluva trip.”

Chad just grinned. “Well yeah,” he said. “I brought you here for a reason.”

His brother Patrick was in the next room, but he wasn’t allowed to come out. Apparently he’d gotten arrested for TP’ing a teacher’s house. His punishment was to give up his phone and his other electronics, and be grounded till Christmas. He basically had nothing to do but sulk, which according to Chad he did exceptionally well.

“Come meet Scott,” Chad said as he stepped in his room.

Patrick barely looked up. He apparently had his dad’s eyes, but the rest of his face looked a lot like his brother’s. He was dressed a little goth, at least by Collins standards. At that particular moment, he was sprawled on his bed, reading a book entitled Desolation Angels.

“Humph,” was all Patrick said.

I wasn’t sure how to respond. “Hey man,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, hi.” Then he looked back to his book.

“Dude,” Chad said, “don’t be like that.”

“What do you want from me?”

Chad rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he said, and he headed back outside. He shut the door behind us, then leaned in to me. “Don’t worry about him. He, well… he just gets like this sometimes.”

“It’s okay,” I said.

We headed back downstairs, and Chad gave me a tour of the rest of the house. It was one of those houses with a super-fancy living room: it had a big leather sectional, an antique bureau, and a bunch of heirlooms on display. I couldn’t imagine anyone spending much time in there, except maybe at a dinner party.

The family room was the main place they really hung out. It was still nicer than what I was used to, with a big TV hooked up to everything from Playstation to Xbox to Apple TV.

One wall was lined with family photos. They ranged from childhood pictures of the boys, to various vacations, to portraits of Mr. Collins in his Navy dress uniform. But the picture that really caught my eye was at the very end: it showed Chad in a nice suit, with rotterdam shemale his arms around a girl.

“Who’s this?” I asked.

“Say what?” Chad asked, but then he saw where I was pointing. “Oh shit. That’s Valerie. My ex.” He called into the next room. “What the hell, mom?”

Mrs. Collins walked up. “What’s wrong?”

Chad pointed to the picture. “Why the hell did you keep this?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked. “You were homecoming king.”

“Oh jeez,” he said. “I’m not in high school anymore…”

“Well, you’re not in diapers either,” she said, “but I kept those pictures too.”


“What? It’s true.” And she pointed at another set of photos.

“This is different,” he said.

“Why? Because you’re… like that?”

I wanted Chad to say the word gay. It wasn’t that scary of a word, at least once you got used to it. Yet he’d still never used it to describe himself, and I thought it was high time he did.

“Mom,” he said, “this is nuts. Nobody keeps pictures of exes like that. Especially exes of their kids.”

“Well, I think it’s a nice picture.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Okay, sorry. I didn’t know it offended you so much. So if you want to put something else there, be my guest. Just, you know, nothing…” And her voice trailed off.

Say it, I thought. You know you want to.

“This is bullshit,” Chad said. “I don’t want to deal with this right now.” And he went storming away.

I wasn’t about to argue, so I just followed him outside. Chad went stomping down the street, so I had to hurry to keep up.

I’d seen flashes of Chad’s temper before. I knew that in most cases, he wouldn’t stay mad for long. But I also knew his sexuality was an especially sensitive subject, and that it called for careful handling.

We ended up at a seafood place on the water. Chad was still worked up when he ordered. I doubt the server even noticed, but I did.

As soon as we got our drinks, I leaned in to Chad. “Listen,” I said, “it’s okay. Don’t let that shit get to you.”

“I’m not,” he said. “It’s just… well, I thought she’d gotten used to this, but… well, I guess you saw, my mom can be kinda weird.”

“Well, you were right,” I said. “I don’t need mementos of Erica either, especially hanging on the wall.” Deep down, I also thought of Johan, but I forced myself not to say anything. “Anyway…”

“You know why Valerie broke up with me?”

“No,” I said, “I mean, you never mentioned that—”

“She said I wasn’t into her. She said I just liked the idea of her. And you know what? She was right.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. I just stared at Chad.

“That whole fucking relationship was for show,” he said. “At least it was for me. I mean, she was a cheerleader, and I was a jock, so it was pretty much expected that we’d be together. I got so fucking tired of people telling me how cute we were, and what a catch she was, and blah blah blah blah. I mean, I guess she’d be a catch for someone else, if she met the right guy… but deep down I always knew it wasn’t me.”

I took a sip of water. “Was she the only girl you were with?”

“No,” he said. “I mean, Valerie was my big long-term relationship, but there were others too. I was hardly ever single, all the way through high school… mainly because I didn’t want anyone to talk.”

I wanted to put my arms around him, but I resisted the urge. I had no idea Chad’s internal struggles had been going on for so long.

“One thing’s for sure,” he said. “Fuck if I’m going to put up with that now.”

“You shouldn’t need to,” I said.

Chad shrugged and looked out at the water. A handful of people were swimming nearby, and one guy was sunning himself on the beach. “You always know just what to say, don’t you?”

“I try,” I said. I could tell Chad’s eyes were wandering, but I wasn’t about to complain. I knew it would help improve his mood, and I was enjoying the view as much as he was. “Is this normal?”

“Say what?”

“I can’t believe there are shirtless boys out in December.”

Chad shrugged. “Welcome to southern California.”

“Yeah, well…” I licked my lips. “It’s not exactly what I grew up with.”

“Let me guess,” he said. “Your Christmases were probably Norman Rockwell and shit.”

“More like Home Alone,” I said, “minus some of the craziness.”

Chad nodded. “That’s cool… but this is nothing compared to that nude beach I mentioned.”

I could feel my dick harden. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to get me horned up, but if he was, it was working.

We sat there for probably an hour or two. We kept watching the show as we ate: Tanning Boy eventually got up and left, but other guys replaced him. At one point we got treated to a beach volleyball game.

When we finally left, Chad took me on a walk along the shore. By then, the sun was hanging low in the sky. The water was so calm that it basically lapped against our feet.

Chad quietly took my hand. He was tentative at first, but then blog shemale he wrapped his fingers around mine, and he held me tight. He didn’t say a word, and he didn’t need to. We kept on walking like any other couple, as if this wasn’t a big deal.

We came to a little marina, and we just stood there for a minute, taking in the view. Then Chad turned toward me. I knew what was coming next. I felt his strong manly arm against my back, and his beard brushed against my face. Then his lips came down on top of mine, and his tongue made its way inside.

I could feel goosebumps all over my skin, and my blood was pumping in every part of my body. I wanted to just stand there, in front of the sunset, and never let him go.

Eventually we came back down from our high, but we were in no hurry to go home. Chad got an Uber and took me out on the town. We spent the next few hours acting like we didn’t have a care in the world: we downed one drink after another, and we did our best to forget about our problems.

I found out what Chad had meant when he talked about San Diego beer. Apparently the city was known for its breweries, though I personally hadn’t heard of them. We must’ve hit at least four or five of these places before I finally lost count. Of course, the more we drank, the randier we got. By ten o’clock or so, we were both ready to fuck each other’s brains out.

“I want to do it in your bed,” I whispered in his ear.


“If that’s where you were always thinking about dick,” I said, “after all these years… it’s high time you finally got what you wanted.”

Chad’s eyebrows went up. He was clearly caught off guard, but he seemed to like the idea. “Seriously?”

“Unless you’re telling me you don’t want to—”

“I didn’t say that!” he yelled as he whipped out his phone and ordered our ride.

My dick was rock hard throughout the whole trip back. I was tempted to fool around in the car, but I stayed on my best behavior. The anticipation was killing me; I kept checking my phone to see how much longer we had to wait.

Finally, at long last, we were back in Chad’s bedroom. He locked the door behind us, and he put his arms around me. Then he gave me a wet drunken kiss, and he guided me toward the bed. “I fucking want you so bad,” he said.

“I want you too,” I said as I laid down on his sheets.

Chad fumbled with my fly, and he slid his hand inside. “God, I love this cock,” he said.

I pulled Chad closer till he was lying beside me. I rubbed his dick through his pants, then undid his button and pulled down the zipper. As usual, he was wearing a jockstrap but no undies. I gripped his rod like my life depended on it. “Now,” I said, “I want you to tell me how you used to jack off.”

“Mm,” Chad said. “Well, I mostly just did it in this bed. Either that, or in that chair over there.” He pointed at the desk where he kept his computer.

I licked my lips. I could totally imagine a young Chad in that room, stark naked and pulling his pud. I assumed he’d looked like more of a twink in high school, presumably clean-shaven, with less body hair and muscle. That mental image was really fucking hot.

“My basketball buddies talked a big game about it,” he said, “jacking off I mean. But we were too chicken to actually do anything, at least as a group effort. So I kept flying solo… but I didn’t know what I was missing.”

I ran my hand down Chad’s shaft, then cupped his balls in my palm. “Are you saying you wanted to jerk off your teammates? Or more?”

“I sure as hell liked to watch them,” he said as he played with my crotch. “I told you about how I checked out their butts, especially when we were showering… aw man!” His body shuddered at the memory. “That’s why I started jerking off in the stalls.”

I ran my fingers toward his cockhead. I loved the thought of that dick being put to good use. “What about porn?” I asked.

“What about it?”

“Well,” I said, “you’d obviously been watching it when you met me…”

“I fought that for so long,” he said. “I actually watched a helluva lot of straight porn, especially with my friends. They even used to make fun of me for it… but no matter how much I did, it was never enough.”

I nodded. I could relate to that insatiable feeling.

“Anyway,” he said, “in a lot of those videos, I just watched the guy. I especially loved if he played with himself or whatever… so then I got into jackoff videos, and it basically took off from there.”

I thought back to our spring semester together. In retrospect, we’d been so awkward back then, especially in the beginning. I’d had no idea Chad had been craving dick so bad. But now that I knew, a lot of things seemed to make more sense. “Okay,” I said. “Now I want you to do to me what you’d been fantasizing about.”


“This body is yours for the taking,” I said.

“Fucking A,” he said as he yanked down my pants. He pulled off my shoes and socks, then damn near ripped my shirt over my head. Then he stripped down himself, so within seconds, he was standing there naked.

Chad climbed on top of me, and we started making out. Our cocks were rubbing together, which made me even harder than before. Then Chad sat up, took both of our cocks in one hand, and started jerking us off.

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